The Home Office recently claimed that women in the United Kingdom aged 16-24 are most at risk of being in an abusive relationship, especially while attending university.
In the 2012-2013, Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW), it was estimated that 1.2 million women have victims of domestic violence and that, overall, 30 percent of women had experienced abuse since the age of 16.
Why have this specific demographic fallen into these kind of relationships and what can be done to prevent them in the first place?
Here is a definition from the Home Office, updated in 2012, of what constitutes an abusive relationship:
“Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality.
This can encompass, but is not limited to, the following types of abuse:
- psychological
- physical
- sexual
- financial
- emotional
Controlling behaviour is: a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.”
It is important that these girls know and understand that there is no need to be trapped with an abusive partner, but it is easier said than done:
We all know that those teenage years are not easy, you are still trying to figure out who you are and you are insecure about many things, and this can go on all the way up to university. You think that you are being loved and that maybe you can change the other person, that aggressive side was just a onetime thing so it is ok, after all no one is perfect and it is love.
However, there is never any justification for being treated that way. There is no justification of feeling threatened and afraid in a relationship.
So what can be done to combat this social problem?
It is important to note that abuse is often a vicious repetitive cycle that the abuser and even the victim grew up with. If we look back to the famous 2009 case when Chris Brown hit then girlfriend Rihanna, he stated several times before that he had witnessed his own mother being abused by his stepfather.
It takes campaigns and re-education to bring awareness of this unacceptable and unhealthy behaviour, which can have several different origins, the media, video games or even porn, which was suggested to the Home Secretary, Theresa May on November 25th when she spoke to Parliament commemorating the 40th birthday of the charity Women’s Aid.
“It’s difficult with these things to say exactly what it is that has led to this. The environment in which violence appears to be acceptable in any form helps to lead to this sort of thinking. It’s also about young people being shown that here is a relationship that is healthy. If this is happening then the relationship isn’t.”
The government is set to launch two advert campaigns, which according to May, is “important in educating young people about violence being unhealthy in a relationship.”
I think it is also important that each individual is aware of what is going on around them and when encountering what could be abuse, that they know to act and do something about it.
During my first year of university I was living in student accommodation, and those who have know that the walls are paper thin; you can hear everything. There was a girl living in front of my room who was constantly fighting with her boyfriend. They were always calling each other horrible names and there was clear disrespect towards the other on both sides of this relationship. But I just found them really annoying and did not think about it as abuse of any sort. However, one weekend afternoon it sounded like world war three had had started. I could hear furniture banging around, the girl crying hysterically and the guy screaming for her to “shut up”. It had become ugly.
At first, I did not know what to do, but I was scared for her. I went to reception, but there was no security there, so I just called the police. Not only did one officer arrive, but six of them, I started to think that maybe I was being paranoid.
Luckily, after that a lot less fighting was heard and I think that maybe they realised, after talking to the officers, that their behaviour had gone too far, because it was mentally draining.
In the end, I thought it was better to be safe rather than to wake up one morning to the news that someone had been violently abused.
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